Who am I?

I am a stay-at-home mother of two wonderful children.  I am many things in this world, but my position as mother is by far the most important of any I could have ever imagined.  I am a wife.  I am a daughter.  I am an artist.  I used to be a professor.  Perhaps I will do this again one day.  I am many things in this world.  Life roles constantly fluctuate.  We may define ourselves how others see us, but we become empowered when we examine how we see ourselves.

I love being home with my children.  This is my choice.  I gave up a career as an art professor and threw myself into mothering whole heartedly.  My life is rich and fulfilling.  My husband and I are happily married and have come to an agreement on how we want to live our lives.  We know what’s important to us, and we work together to achieve that.  Although he works full time and brings home the paycheck, we both agree that my role is equally important.  In this blog I hope to write about various topics from my perspective and all of my life’s roles that inform it–mother, wife, artist, gardener, baker, coffee-drinker, avid reader, critical-thinker, emotional basketcase 🙂

The title of my blog comes from Jack Kerouac’s “The Town and the City,” where he describes Mrs. Martin:

“…..To eat and to sleep, to have a house and to live in it, to have a family and to live with them–these are the things she knows.  To bask in the days that keep coming and going, to keep the house warm and clean and enjoyable, to prepare food and eat it and store it, to conquer sickness, keep things together, preside over the sweet needs and plain satisfactions of life, and to order the furies of existence around all these things–this is what she knows, and she understands that there is nothing else to know.

The depth of a woman’s heart is as unknowable as that of man’s, but nothing like restlessness and feverish rue ever abides there.  In the very deeps of this heart are contained all the secrets, and the one plain secret of life, which is something that is homely, course, sensual, and deep, something that is everlasting because it is serene and waits patiently.  A man may spend the night tracing the course of the stars above the earth, but the woman never has to worry her head about the course of the stars above the earth, because she lives in the earth and the earth is her home.  A man may yearn after a thousand shades and shapes that surround his fevered life, but to the woman there is only one shade and one shape to things, which she forever contemplates in the fullness of her profundity, and she never loses sight of it…..”

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7 thoughts on “Who am I?

    • I love your values, your style, your energy … I only object to Kerouac’s generalizations about what women do as opposed to what men do (even if in general they’re true). But then – to add my own generalization – I happen to be generalization-phobic. Which is exactly what you seem to be avoiding in your consciously chosen life. Courage! & thanks!

      • Thanks! I only object to the different roles women take if it is something they do not chose for themselves. I am opposed to the notion that just because a woman stays home and raises children, that she is a slave to her husband, and a compliant being. This is a role I chose and I feel free, like I am not a slave to society or to notions of career, which some might find empowering, but I find it eats away the hours of the day in which I can be more productive for myself, for my family, and for my community. There are many many powerful women out there in the workplace, but there are also many women whose success in career comes at a price—they have to act like men. It all comes down to choice, and to true happiness!

  1. Pingback: True Exaggerations « The Plain Satisfactions

  2. You speak so eloquently and express so well everything I feel, yet haven’t been able to put to words. I, too have two kids, am a stay at home mom, and as a former teacher am frightened to death of enrollng my pre-k son into a public school or typical private school. I am hoping the answer will fall from the sky, but perhaps it is time to forge my own path…. I know in my heart public school, as it currently exists is not an option for my son. He is at the most fabulous preschool I could ever hope for, and he loves learning, so I feel I must find the next place so he can continue to be awed and inspired by the wonders of the world….

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read my words, Amy! It is a difficult decision, isn’t it. I want more than anything for my son (and later my daughter) to have a wonderful and enriching public school experience, but I’m not sure this is going to work. Private school isn’t an option for us, like it isn’t for most families. It’s unfortunate that there is this divide between people being able to afford (or be close to) the type of education that their children deserve and the ones that simply must accept all of these mandates that result in a substandard education. I feel so lucky to be home, so homeschooling is a very real option for me. But for many that also isn’t a possibility. For me personally, regardless of what type of education I end up choosing for my children, I feel that I have a vested interest in the state of public schools– for my children down the road perhaps, and for the children of our local community, and society at large. I’ll keep speaking out and writing, and I hope that you too will let your voice be heard in any way possible! Hang in there. We’re not alone. I think many out there share these fears.

  3. Your article about Draper School has been shared on Yesterday and Today, a FB creation of former Draper students. We are all saddened by the deterioration of our school, which was, like yours, K-12 but had a whopping 80 in each graduating class. At Draper we all had a favorite teacher who inspired us, a best friend or a football game victory we will forever relive in our dreams, I wonder if those notes you found were the ones Debbie and I exchanged when we risked an hour of detention for our crime. Many of us, like Debbie, remained in the area, while some became the “diaspora” like myself who has lived abroad for a third of my life. Your depiction of our school is like a metaphor of the education system itself…a fading ghost that only memories can bring back to life.
    Karen Sikora (Vav) Class of 67

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